My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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