we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I understand Curling. That high.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
