I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I want a musical about memes.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
