He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I wish I could punch you in the face.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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