Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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