You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
