peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
try to milk me bitch
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