Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
