Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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