Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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