They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Will exercising make me less horny?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
