Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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