Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
