Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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