So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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