is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
