I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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