Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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