Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Randomize
