i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
