i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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