I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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