I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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