That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
