Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
