just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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