why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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