at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
