my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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