if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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