HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
