She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
