The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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