i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
