I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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