My room smells like vodka and shame
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
