dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize