Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
if only i could text you this smell
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
