I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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