If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
