Are we in a gay sports bar?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
