LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
