i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
