I wanna bring you to show and tell
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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