she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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