problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
