My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
