They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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