for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
