apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize