wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
