I wanna bring you to show and tell
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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