the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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