Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
