I swear she didn't look like that last week.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
