That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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