how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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