I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
