I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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