i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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