Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
