2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
