You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
