Pregnant stripper...not hot.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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