So drunk its hurt
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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