but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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